Who did it best? Who did it worst? Let’s find out!
Overview
I’ve spent the last few weeks watching every Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Hellraiser movie. Here, we’re going to compare all of these franchises to see which ones had the Best Slasher, Best Series, Best Individual Film, and more, plus which wins the award for Worst Movie of the whole lot.
**CONTENT WARNING: Violence, death, molestation, rape, child harm, animal cruelty, disturbing images**
**Spoilers below**
Best Slasher
Nominees (this and following sections listed from worst to best fit)
Leatherface
I was shocked to discover that in pretty much every TCM film, Leatherface is a side villain. Generally the major antagonist is either the parental figure of the family or the local sheriff—though in some cases, those are one and the same. Not to say that Leatherface is by any means innocent, but since he is typically intellectually disabled, he’s essentially a product of his environment, someone his awful family manipulates into being a mindless killing machine that they point in their preferred direction. He also frequently cross dresses, and I get the impression that it is more the creators trying to make him extra weird than Leatherface actually falling on the trans spectrum, so I can’t say I support that aspect.
Jason Voorhees
Jason is fairly bland, with no particular goal. You might say that his motivation is that he hates when people have premarital sex, something they poke fun at in Jason X (2001), but that doesn’t really explain why he also kills all the other people who aren’t having sex. The other slashers do often kill random people without necessarily having a specific reason, but they all also generally had overarching goals—if you group Leatherface’s goals in with his family’s, since (again) they usually pointed him in the direction of their own goals. Jason is also a bit of a klutz sometimes, especially in 2 and 3 where he’s often seen falling off of chairs or out of cars. Interesting note, in Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Jason actually saves a girl from attempted rape and Kane Hodder, the actor playing Jason most often as well as in that particular iteration, apparently convinced the filmmakers to take out a scene in which Jason was supposed to kick a dog.
Freddy Kreuger
Freddy is one of only two of the five who consistently talks (Michael and Leatherface do speak in flashbacks/origin stories, but the vast majority of the time do not). Starting around the third movie, he begins incorporating puns into his MO. Normally I love lame puns, but Freddy doesn’t always pull them off. Technically Freddy could be considered the most evil of the options by the mere nature of the fact that he is not just a murderer, but also a racist and a child molester. And boy, does that last part get particularly creepy sometimes.
Pinhead
The only other talker, Pinhead speaks in a more ominous and regal manner than Freddy. Regardless of the film, I always enjoyed watching Pinhead’s scenes, especially when portrayed by Doug Bradley. However, I found his motivations to be a little bland. He seems to simply like torturing people. I read the book a while back, and that’s not quite how it worked. In that version, the Cenobites were more about offering extreme pleasure, but to them pain and pleasure were essentially interchangeable. That seems more interesting than just, “I’m the bad guy and I like hurting people.” It might have worked better for me if I didn’t have that expectation, but with that aspect in mind it was hard for me to get behind Pinhead, as much as I enjoyed watching him on screen.
And the winner is….
Michael Myers
Cold, cunning, and especially unkillable, Michael ultimately beats the other slashers largely by his sheer intimidation factor. While the other unkillable ones typically had to be revived in each following movie, Michael often gets “killed” several times throughout each film but is unable to be stopped nonetheless. His reign of terror isn’t dampened by cheesy jokes, and once he sets his mind to something, there is nothing that can prevent him from achieving his goal.
Best Original Movie
Nominees
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
The first film of all of the franchises, the original TCM is incredibly hit or miss, explaining why the genre didn’t really take off until Halloween came around a few years later. The first half of TCM is pretty good, opening with a disturbing slow pull on a rotting corpse overlaid with dialogue by a radio reporter detailing horrendous accounts of recent violence in an eerily monotonous tone. Moving forward, the hitchhiker (Edwin Neal) dilemma is pretty interesting, and the movie as a whole does a good job setting up a creepy tone. And then about halfway through it starts to fall apart. The deaths just aren’t that good, and the characters make stupid decisions. The filmmakers go through all of this trouble to build up the complications that might come from having one of the main characters in a wheelchair (Paul A. Partain), which I expected to be a problem as soon as he has to flee, but instead Leatherface kills him before he even knows what hits him. The infamous dinner scene is a great concept but horribly executed and drags on far too long. By the end of that scene I was practically screaming at the family to just pick up the hammer and kill Sally (Marilyn Burns) themselves instead of continuously trying to get the grandfather (John Dugan) to do it. Also, Leatherface seems to have trouble with doors in this movie.
Hellraiser (1987)
Despite being directed by Clive Barker, the actual author of the source novella Hellbound Heart, this movie isn’t very good, and there are tons of changes from the book. The most bizarre change is the switch they made to Kirsty (Ashley Laurence) from a woman with a crush on Rory—name changed to Larry (Andrew Robinson) in the movie—to Larry’s daughter. But even if I hadn’t read the book, I still think it isn’t a great movie. Julia (Clare Higgins) comes across so off-putting, and the overall plot is a bit weird. The effects are pretty cool, though.
Halloween (1978)
The original Halloween is decent, but rather slow, and the deaths are cheesy by today’s standard. Back in its day, I can understand the impact it had, but in this day and age, it is very middle of the road all around. The best thing about it is that it introduced Jamie Lee Curtis and paved the way for better slasher films down the line.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
This one has a lot of potential, though in the end it doesn’t quite land the punch. The first death is fantastic, probably the best death of all the original films, and better than many of the deaths later on in the rest of the NoES series as well. Freddy hasn’t started cracking jokes yet in this one, so he is considerably creepier here. Plus, this is the movie that gave us Johnny Depp. The biggest gripe with this film is that the ending is pretty confusing, and you have to watch a few more of them to fully understand what happened.
And the winner is…
Friday the 13th (1980)
Overall a pretty solid film, with twice as many deaths as any of the other original films except Hellraiser. There’s also a good twist at the end in which the killer isn’t actually Jason at all, but his mother (Betsy Palmer). This movie also sticks the landing at the end, where some of the others dropped the ball.
Best Overall Movie
Nominees
Friday the 13th (1980)
With its strong start, none of the following Ft13 movies ever quite live up to the standard the first one set. Even the modern film in the series, Friday the 13th (2009) isn’t great, with terrible characters always making awful decisions. It’s hard to believe that one is by the same director as Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003).
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)
While not up to the quality of some of the other films in this category, Freddy’s Revenge has one of the most interesting plots. It’s fascinating watching Jesse (Mark Patton) slowly become overtaken by an evil persona to the point where he can no longer trust himself to be around friends or family. The ending flails, largely due to its reliance on the love of Jesse’s new girlfriend Lisa (Kim Webber) to give Jesse the strength he needs to resist Freddy after the entire movie screams gay subtext, but otherwise it’s an entertaining film. Some of the practical effects don’t always play, but the ones that do are impressive, especially the scene where Jesse’s arm transforms.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
This one has a lot of good things going on. Julia is back and much more interesting, Kirsty is an absolute badass, plus we learn more about the origins of the Cenobites and even get to see one get made. They actually go into the Cenobites realm for a good half hour and the visuals and intensity are pretty great. In some ways, it visually reminds me of Pan’s Labyrinth, so I can’t help but assume this was one of Del Toro’s influences when designing that one.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
This one is a close second, losing mainly due to lack of meaningful plot. It’s easily the best remake, and definitely terrifying. R. Lee Ermey is legendary, the best villain who isn’t one of the slasher icons. He reprises his role in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), which as a whole isn’t as good as this one, but Ermey gets even better with surprisingly witty comments during otherwise intense scenes. Where Freddy’s jokes don’t really land, Ermey’s make the scenes all the better.
And the winner is…
Halloween (2018)
Best quality, best acting, and the most heart. Jamie Lee Curtis kills with her return, and it’s fascinating to see how the events of her past have shaped her entire life. The violence throughout is also well done, and the finale is fantastic.
Honorable Mention
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
The plot is absolute nonsense, so this doesn’t really stand its ground with the others. However, as the only crossover, it has something none of the other films do. After seeing dozens of movies in which a nigh-unkillable slasher slaughters countless mere mortals, it’s exciting to see two of these slashers hack each other to pieces. The final fight is multilayered as well, taking place both in the dream realm and Crystal Lake. In the end, they each turn the other’s classic weapon on the other, which is a nice touch.
Scariest Movie
Nominees
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Hear me out. As a whole, this isn’t that great of a movie, and the general horror isn’t always super scary. But the implication of the ending is pretty horrifying. Untold thousands of children are dying, they’re bodies transforming into all nature of dangerous critters who will then doubtlessly kill thousands more. None of the other movies turn into a full scale apocalypse.
Friday the 13th (2009)
While this movie isn’t amazing, it does get the violence right. It’s the only Ft13 movie that made me feel in danger. The original Ft13 has some good deaths, but they are all so quick that they don’t build up the tension like this one does.
Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)
Se7en 2, er, I mean, Hellraiser: Judgment is an interesting one because I can’t really decide whether I like it or not. The core plot is a detective drama with a twist that isn’t entirely unexpected. But the violence is something else. They really threw in all the “wtf?” they could. All the judgment specific scenes are so freaky and bizarrely intriguing.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Finally, a NoES movie with the resources to create truly terrifying nightmare scenes. One of my favorites is the gas station scene in which Nancy (Rooney Mara) is flickering in and out of consciousness, with the footage flickering between real and dream to match.
And the winner is…
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
This is one of the absolute most disturbing films I’ve ever seen. There are moments I had to actually look away, which almost never happens. This is what I’m looking for in a horror movie. There are even scenes that aren’t exactly violent, but are terrifying in nature thanks to R. Lee Ermey’s performance.
Best Series
Before getting into the nominees and winner, as a disclaimer let’s just say that every one of these had a downslope in the middle range with a handful of stinkers. This evaluation is based more on how many good films there ended up being overall and how well those ones were pulled off. Unfortunately, it seems as though the better the original film, the worse the rest of the series tends to be, and vice versa.
Nominees
Friday the 13th
Despite a promising start, most of the remaining movies were pumped out 1-2 years apart over the course of about a decade, with only one truly modern film at the end. This is unfortunate because the more modern ones tend to be of higher caliber, both in quality and plot. The majority of the movies in this franchise are redundant and unremarkable, with few memorable characters or plot lines. The exception to this is Jason X, which clearly was created by someone who watched Alien: Resurrection and decided to recreate it with Jason instead of aliens. Not a good movie by any means, but at least it’s different than the others in the series.
Nightmare on Elm Street
This falls into a similar path as Ft13, too many filmed in a short period of time to allow for them to be fully developed, and too few in the modern era. They do try to come up with unique but relevant ideas for each movie, like incorporating a daydreamer or someone who can pull her friends into her dream. The problem is that they just never really go far enough with any of these ideas to make them worth it. A few of the movies are decent and fairly interesting, but others are shockingly way more boring than they should be. There were times I found myself zoning out during the finale, which is never a good sign.
Hellraiser
This one is pretty middle of the road. The good ones weren’t as good as the best of some of the other franchises, but on the flipside the bad ones also weren’t as bad. Most of the movies were just okay, with a few highlights or lowlights sprinkled in. Plus, the whole premise revolves around a puzzle box that’s supposed to be difficult to open, but all you really seem to have to do to open it is rub your thumb on the giant circle on the side. It’s honestly amazing anyone doesn’t figure out how to open it.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
With the least amount of truly awful films and quite a few good ones, this one almost wins. The main reason it doesn’t is because it can get pretty redundant in the middle, and I don’t appreciate that practically every family member is mentally and/or physically disabled in an effort to make them more disturbing. It comes across as villainizing disabled people, especially when it happens consistently across several movies. On the other hand, this is the only series with an entire family of villains, and it’s interesting to see how they influence each other into murder and cannibalism by essentially living in an echo chamber of their own messed up ideas.
One other big complaint I have about the series, though, is the misleading nature of the name. All of the Halloween films are set, at least partially, on Halloween. The Friday the 13th ones aren’t always clear what date they fall on, but even if they don’t fall on a Friday the 13th, it’s not super disappointing. All of the Nightmare on Elm Streets involve nightmares and are either set on Elm Street, or a connection is established to Elm Street. And Hellraiser is certainly all about raising hell. And then there’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre. With a name like that, you’d expect movies set in Texas that contain outrageous amounts of people killed via chainsaw. Well, they are all set in Texas, I’ll give them that, but some only have a handful of deaths. The first movie has four murders and an accidental death, barely scraping by as a massacre. To make matters worse, there is only an average of less than two deaths by chainsaw per film! Next Generation (1994) doesn’t even have a single chainsaw death in it. There are far more deaths caused by hammers throughout the series. It really should have been called the “Texas Hammer Handful-of-Deaths”.
And the winner is…
Halloween
Don’t get me wrong, there are some awful movies in the middle. But Halloween has some things there others simply lack. First of all, the bad ones are at least engaging. I’d rather be actively frustrated than too bored to care. Secondly, this series has more through line than the others, even with its frequently shifting continuities. Pretty much all of them have Laurie and/or Dr. Loomis. Additionally, there are more good/enjoyable movies in the mix than any of the other series. Ultimately, it has some of my favorite films of them all, as well.
Best Origin Story
Nominees
Michael: Halloween (2007)
This is a huge misstep and shows that Rob Zombie clearly doesn’t understand the core of Michael Myers as a character. He should never have gotten an origin story, because he, of all of the slashers, is supposed to be an enigmatic embodiment of evil. Giving him reasons to snap makes him less scary.
Jason: Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Jason doesn’t get an in-depth origin like most of the others. His backstory is explained in passing a few times, but the most we get is a brief dream Lori (Monica Keena) experiences in FvJ of the circumstances surrounding Jason’s death. Considering Freddy is in control of this dream, it’s hard to say if this is even accurate. I honestly wouldn’t hate a Jason origin story, showing what really happened that fateful night on the lake. Then again, do we really need more of an explanation than what we’ve already been given?
Pinhead: Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) and Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
Like Jason, we only get a brief explanation for Pinhead’s origin. At best, we know that he was once a human who found the box and was transformed into a Cenobite, which at least explains some things about him. But beyond that, we still don’t know much. Who was he, really? What brought him to the box? Who knows? I do like the part in 3 where he has split in two, with his Cenobite version becoming all the more evil and the ghost of his human side reaching out for help to stop his other half. But even seeing his human side for a decent portion of the film, I still don’t feel like I know him that well.
Freddy: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Although Freddy’s origin is discussed in several of the films, this is the one that goes the most in depth. The main characters are actually victims of Freddy’s who have repressed the memories. This adds to the tension between the characters and their present day torment by the dream demon.
And the winner is…
Leatherface: Leatherface (2017)
This movie has gotten more hate than it deserves. Of all the movies in all of the franchises, this is the one with the biggest character arc—heck, it has a bigger character arc than just about any slasher film out there. We see Leatherface go from a relatively normal guy, a protector even, with some anger and abandonment issues, to someone who has endured so much horror that he loses his mind and becomes a heartless killer. What more could you possibly want from an origin story of a serial killer?
Best Survivor Girl
Nominees
Stretch (Caroline Williams): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2 (1986)
Stretch has guts. Though often visibly scared, she fights through it and holds her ground. In a lot of ways, she reminds me of Lana Winters (Sarah Paulson) from American Horror Story: Asylum. Which makes sense considering Lana is often terrorized by Bloody Face, a serial killer clearly inspired by Leatherface.
Erin (Jessica Biel): The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Erin is actually able to outsmart and severely harm Leatherface, accomplishing more than most other survivor girls in her franchise.
Nancy Thompson (Heather Langenkamp): A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) and A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
When no one else takes her seriously, Nancy is forced to take matters into her own hands at the end of the original NoES. Furthermore, after these traumatic events, she goes on to major in sleep science in order to provide support to Freddy’s future victims.
Jamie Lloyd (Danielle Harris): Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers(1988) and Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
While the Jamie Lloyd trilogy is the low point of the Halloween franchise, Jamie herself is pretty great, largely thanks to the phenomenal casting of Danielle Harris. Despite being the youngest survivor girl out of all of the franchises, Harris does an impressive job in the role. Jamie as a character is also interesting, turning on her foster mother in a chilling recreation of Michael’s initial kill in Halloween 4, then fighting through her PTSD throughout Halloween 5.
Ginny (Amy Steel): Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
Quick on her feet, Ginny is able to come up with a way to talk Jason down. Granted, she probably shouldn’t have taken so long to actually bring the blade down once she commits, but until that point she’s able to intimidate Jason into temporarily surrendering.
Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis): Several Halloweens, but most notably the David Gordon Green continuity
Following the trauma of Halloween (1978), Laurie takes surviving extremely seriously for the remainder of her life. She learns how to defend herself and builds a house specifically designed to trap Michael. She’s not a particularly good mother, but if there’s one thing Laurie is, it’s a great survivor girl.
And the winner is…
Kirsty (Ashley Laurence): Hellraiser (1987), Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988), and Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002)
When it comes to survivor girls, there’s a few ways they turn out. There’s fighting back. There’s learning from past experiences and preparing for the next encounter with darkness. And then there’s literally donning your stepmother’s actual skin and casually making out with a Cenobite in order to trick him. Not to mention the next time we see her (minus a brief scene in 3), we learn she was tricked into opening the box again, so she convinces Pinhead to spare her by accepting five other souls in exchange, at which point she personally takes out all of the toxic people in her life, including her adulterous husband (Dean Winters—yes, that’s right, Mayhem is Kirsty’s husband and the main character in Hellseeker) who was plotting to murder her for her inheritance. Kirsty is on a whole other level.
Worst Movie
Nominees
New Nightmare (1994)
The most interesting movie I’ve ever hated. The setup is fascinating—a world in which the original NoES exists as a film, where most of the characters are real actors or filmmakers from the franchise playing themselves. This includes Heather Langenkamp, who previously played Nancy, producer Robert Shaye, and Freddy’s most frequent actor Robert Englund as both himself and Freddy. Yes, Robert Englund plays Robert Englund, the actor who played Freddy, who is scared that Freddy, the character he used to play, has come back for real. This may be the most meta movie I’ve ever seen. They might have even pulled off a good movie except the acting is poor and the actual plot is so weird. The worst part of the film is when Heather visits director Wes Craven, who mournfully tells her that the only way to keep the real Freddy at bay is to make another Freddy movie. How truly awful for you, sir. Can there be worse news a director of a popular franchise could ever discover?
Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)
I feel like most people would say Hellraiser: Revelations (2011), since it is the lowest rated movie of all five franchises on IMDb, with an abysmal score of 2.7/10. And while I agree it’s a bad movie, there’s not a whole lot more to say about it than “pretty dumb” and “incest, kind of.” Rather, Hellworld actually had significant reasons why it didn’t work. On paper, it seems like a movie where Geralt of Rivia (Henry Cavill), Lagertha (Katheryn Winnick), and Ezekiel (Khary Payton) have to face off against Bishop (Lance Henriksen) should be an automatic winner. The problem is that the twist at the end reveals that 90% of the movie was a subliminally guided shared hallucination of the main characters, so not only was none if it real (although they do die for real if the die in the hallucination), Pinhead actually wasn’t even in it until the last few minutes of the movie. Plus, Henriksen’s character didn’t even believe in all the Hellworld stuff in the first place, he just used it all against the characters because they were super into it. Finally, after all that, after it turns out to be drug induced and everything… somehow, magically, a ghost makes a phone call? What? Also, how did Henriksen even keep the survivors alive for days without food or water?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)
There’s a lot to dislike about this one. Jenny (Renee Zellweger) is the worst survival girl, not putting up a fight whenever she has the best chance at escaping, but instead hurling insults at the demented family who clearly need little persuasion to harm her. The family aren’t cannibals in this, but work for some sort of secret society. And again, this is the one TCM without a single chainsaw death. But it also has Matthew McConaughey as the sadistic sardonic family leader. His performance alone elevated the entire movie.
Halloween II (2009)
Ghost mom and white horse? Laurie’s real name is Angel? Dr. Loomis on a press tour? Plus I’m fairly certain Michael inexplicably eats a dog. I just can’t with this movie.
And the winner is…
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
After Jason gets blown to smithereens at the start of the film, his coroner (Richard Grant) feels compelled to eat his heart, which allows Jason to possess him. The bulk of the rest of the movie involves Jason’s heart playing hot potato with several other characters in his search for another Voorhees who will allow him to fully reconstitute. He succeeds when his heart crawls along the floor before slipping under the skirt of his sister’s (Erin Gray) corpse—a sister, mind you, that we’ve never heard of before now. The movie ends with beams of light shooting from Jason’s chest and zombie arms bursting out of the ground. Of all the movies, this is the one that left me with the ultimate feeling of “wtf did I just watch?”
Final Tally
Halloween: Best Slasher, Best Overall Movie, Best Series
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Scariest Movie, Best Origin Story
Friday the 13th: Best Original Movie, Worst Movie
Hellraiser: Best Survivor Girl
Nightmare on Elm Street: None
Fun Fact
I actually met two of the Jasons at a horror convention back in my film school days: Kane Hodder and Derek Mears. Here’s a picture of Kane Hodder choking my husband (he choked me too, but sadly we lost the picture).
