How I Learned to Love “Star Trek” as a Lifelong Trekkie

Our very own staff writer, Mark Gilman, explores the ups, downs, and subspaces in between of a lifelong journey in Stark Trek Fandom through this poignant and wholesome retrospective.

To Explore Strange New Worlds

I grew up a Star Trek fan. At the age of four, my father sat me down to watch the premiere of Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994), and I never looked back. I’ve seen reruns so many times, I could clock an episode from its first few seconds. I’ve owned the Star Trek Technical Manual, a poster with schematics of the Enterprise D, the line of Playmates action figures – you get it. Like many fans, I was transported by the utopian world of courage and optimism set among warp drives and holodecks.

Inconsistent Voyages Make for a Rough Trek

Of course as a Star Trek fan, one of the major heartbreaks is the unevenness. As much as Star Trek boldy shows an ideal society, the franchise is far from perfect – filled with flat episodes, terrible dialogue, and frustratingly violates its own canon. Scotty was once beamed through the shields in TNG’s “Relics”; the Star Dates make no sense; the USS Voyager is stranded in the other end of the galaxy, yet has an inexhaustible supply of torpedoes and shuttlecraft. Not a violation, per se, but don’t get me started on Star Trek: Enterprise’s (2001-2005) awful attempt to retcon why Klingons look different in Star Trek: The Original Series (1966-1969) – honestly Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993-1999) handled it best. I always found these inconsistencies in quality or lore distracting, pulling me from the best of Star Trek: the characters, the moral quandaries, the dramatic storytelling, the optimism. I both loved Star Trek and I hated Star Trek.

As of this writing there have been 12 series, 13 movies, and two sets of minisodes. I can’t try to count all the books and comic adaptations, or the constellations of games: tabletop, role play, pinball, PC, and mobile alike. Don’t forget all the commercials and comedy sketches featuring Trek characters or settings. Counting the number of Trek properties is like trying to enumerate the gossamer layers of subspace. A lot of it is amazing but a lot of it is terrible.

Faulty Command

Honestly, the worst of Trek is behind the camera – perpetrated by those in charge, akin to The Federation’s fumbling and scheming Admirals. I was heartbroken when I learned Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry added lyrics to the TOS theme just so he could claim half the song royalties, or how he kept sabotaging the production of the films with ego-driven power plays. Don’t get me started on how the DS9 producers kept their casts and crews on set with grueling long days, or how Rick Berman personally messed with Wil Wheaton’s career. I loathed how Tom Hardy’s acting talents were wasted in Star Trek: Nemesis (2002); he was far more captivating in the film’s released rehearsal footage. Yes, Nemesis was always going to be a complete mess with that terrible script but we could have had a far more interesting Shinzon … I think I made my point.

Fandom Double Standards

As you may have suspected, I have an acute case of Angry Nerd Ranting Syndrome – at times I’ve found myself arguing why something about Trek (or some other fandom) sucks and why you should think it sucks, too. For example, I liked going on about how Seven of Nine’s (Jeri Ryan) wardrobe of body-hugging catsuits, betrayed Trek’s utopian values. If Trek had such a noble social message, shouldn’t it avoid such base ratings-bait? Worth noting, those outfits made it hard for Jeri Ryan to breathe and go to the bathroom. Now, dear reader, did I include in my ranting Counselor Troi’s (Marina Sirtis) low-cut jumpsuit, Major Kira’s (Nana Visitor) butt-hugging pants, or TOS’s parade of large-breasted, small-waisted women? Of course not, because I was 14 and I didn’t think things through. Yes, Seven of Nine’s wardrobe of catsuits were dumb oversexed ratings bait, but for better or worse Trek has a long tradition of dumb oversexed ratings bait. To be clear, I wholeheartedly believe that Trek should let its characters be sexy when it serves the story, and many times Trek has done a phenomenal job of showing sexy for sexy’s sake, which is part of its campy appeal. I seem to keep confusing Trek’s promise of progress with an idealized experience of watching Star Trek.

The habit to complain and whine about my beloved Trek’s failings has been unceasing, and I see how it doesn’t always serve me. Who wants to be that guy? Often I’m the only one at a party wanting to go on about the logical implications of having transporter technology. Yes, Trek is messy and the people who created it were messy. Can I just accept it or am I akin to the Ennis and Nol-Ennis of DS9’s “Battle Lines,” trapped in a war without end? 

I don’t think nerds talk enough about how much we love hating the things we hate. Wrapped up in our strident opinions – about how to calculate stardates, or which captain is best, or how a moneyless economy would work – there is a specific joy we get from jousting with our opinions. We need the terribleness of Trek so we can keep going to the well of, “I can’t believe they did that!” In a way we are no different than the rowdy crowds at Shakespeare’s Globe Theater, or Rocky Horror (1975) fans shouting at the screen – however those boisterous crowds knew they were part of the show. They act along with the story, having a cathartic, joyous experience. I think where nitpick rage misses the mark is taking itself with the seriousness of political protests. As a fandom we were softly reminded in one of Galaxy Quest’s (1999) most heartbreaking moments (yes, Galaxy Quest is Trek): “We were pretending.” Must there be such sound and fury about our beloved and imperfect art? I fear it doesn’t add up to much. I guess I am getting tired of all the shouting and outrage. Perhaps my frustrations, disappointments, and critiques of Trek deserve a more targeted time, place, and urgency. Perhaps all of ours do.

To Boldly Go Where Others Have Led By Example

I think my changed perspective comes with breaking into middle age – where life experience, reduced hormone levels, and a body more easily prone to failure all conspire to make me slow down and look at things with a longer perspective: making less of a fuss about how bad the bad is. I see how this slow transformation of my psyche is starting to match my mother’s more recent mantras of “what’s the use of complaining, just embrace the good.” Watching our parents age is the closest we will get to peering into our future and as a deep admirer of time travel stories, I’d be remiss to ignore such a precious gift from the universe. If I am lucky, one day I will be far older than my mother is today. I hope by then I can better live in the moment and keep my expectations to hoping my hemorrhoids aren’t so bad this time – and if they are, it’s okay, there’s a cream for that. There is no cream for bad Star Trek, but I can provide a balm of patient acceptance.

Fortunately I did not need to reinvent the wheel, my solution came to me from the fan accounts and Trek meme groups I’m a part of. As an Elder Millennial I still reflexively think of the online world as a festering cauldron of rage bait and obsessive nitpicking – well because it is – however in many online fan communities, I have seen a new way: a path of loving, humorous acceptance. It seems the ancient art of Internet Shitposting has evolved from posting incendiary memes meant to pick fights to posting cheeky memes that embrace the good, the bad, and the absurd of fandom. I have been fortunate to have seen Trek fans who’ve peered into the abyss of Trek’s deep imperfections and responded with giggles instead of seething rage. Instead of bemoaning how weird it is to see Dr. Crusher (Gates McFadden) have sex with a ghost on camera, we can all laugh at it while accepting as part of the Trek family – to her credit, McFadden seems to happily be in on the joke, which is great because she directed that episode. Yes the plot of Voyager’s “Threshold” is super dumb – Tom Paris (Robert Duncan McNeill) and Kathryn Janeway (Kate Mulgrew) go faster than Warp 10 which turns them into lizards, who have lizard babies – but we can laugh at its silliness and embrace it. We can celebrate the anniversary of its airing with “Threshold Day,” and imagine how Lt. Tom Paris privately refers to his Captain and once lizard-y paramour as “Katfish.”

I’m grateful that so much of Trek Fandom has moved away from anger and towards joy, embracing the dumb, the silly, and the inconsistent. Probably the greatest manifestation of this ethos is the show Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020-Present), where Bradford Boimler (voiced by Jack Quaid) is a Starfleet officer and a hopelessly dorky fan of “Federation History” – making the same quotes and quips that mega fans like me make. Lower Decks accepts all of Trek with unabashed zeal, proudly sharing how strange and beautiful the tapestry of Trek is. How fortunate for us that Star Trek itself has modeled a fandom rooted in the best of the Trek ethos: diversity, optimism, and humor.

Love Star Trek fiercely, embrace the weird, don’t take everything too seriously. All Trek is Trek.

How utopian indeed.

About Author

Mark Gilman

Mark Gilman was fed a steady diet of Nerd Culture from a very young age, and spent much of his youth knowing more about Warp Drives than making friends. He is grateful that NU has made use for his somewhat encyclopedic knowledge of Nerd media.

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